


how we got here

by immopengu



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-18
Updated: 2016-01-03
Packaged: 2018-04-10 00:11:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4369700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/immopengu/pseuds/immopengu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How did they get to where they were now? How did they get to here, right now, kissing in the cold outside, feeling like a hundred fireworks were exploding inside them. Delphine's heart full to bursting, tears catching in her throat. Cosima's kisses hesitant, wondering at the look on Delphine's face and watching Delphine drive away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

author’s note: It’s been awhile since I’ve written anything at all so read at your own risk. I have no betas and I usually try to slam it out before my muse runs away again. Orphan Black has been stuck in my head quite a bit and I always thought that the show could’ve had more of Delphine in it, at least to explain how she fell so hard for Cosima.

Warning in advance, there is Delphine/Aldous scenes in here so... uh... skip it if you don't like it. 

 

\----

Delphine made the appropriate noises, carefully remembering to rake her nails across Aldous’ back at the appropriate times when his grunting and thrusting increased in fervour.

This was a necessary exercise.

She treated this with clinical detachment, considering it at the very most, a tedious chore. Sometimes, Delphine let her mind wander, and today it wandered to the women (predominantly women, anyways) who actually did this for a living, who prostituted themselves and sold their body for payment. The Frenchwoman had no illusions of what she was doing, no fantastical beliefs of affection or love. She was working right now, providing a service in exchange for payment.

A prostitute. In the very basest of terms.

‘I do not know if I could survive doing this for a long duration.’ Delphine thought wryly as Aldous quavered and made… sounds… over her and she responded in kind. Maybe he was under the illusion that she held extra loyalties to him or had some sort of affection for him, nurtured by their physical couplings. That was, of course, not the case. But she let him think that as he slid out of her, spent and shrivelled, condom thrown carelessly on the floor of the hotel room. He nuzzled into her for that extra contact. She snuggled into him obediently unable from halting a giggle at the thought that a prostitute might have charged extra for cuddling.

Aldous, not being privy to Delphine’s thoughts, thankfully, only chuckled breathlessly in response to her little laugh. Probably assuming it was some euphoric after-effect of sex.

“324B21 is yours, now.” Aldous murmured into her hairline after he had spent some time catching his breath. “You will have to get close to her, get her to trust you.”

“Of course, Aldous.”

“We’ve had trouble with her before.” The older man continued and the blonde tried to hide her annoyed frown. She was not a first year grad student that needed her hand held through her first culture.

“I know. This is not my first time running an experiment.”

“But this is a special case.” Aldous said soothingly, rubbing his hands up and down her arms. At least he was observant enough to hear the offended tone in her voice. “You know I think very highly of you, Delphine.”  
‘That was after I slept with you. Before, you barely gave my research a second glance and instead just looked at my legs.’ Delphine wanted to snap out what was going through her head but instead, tipped her head up, nudged the bottom of his jawline with her nose and he hummed in approval. Unfortunately, that little touch had him twitching against her belly again.

Aldous Leekie was an intellectual, but he was also an old white man and the world did not work in women’s favour with the glass ceiling firmly in place, especially in the male-dominated STEM fields. So Delphine had invited herself coquettishly to his office and then let him take her in his fashionable workspace. She remembered, as he pushed her face down on his desk, remembered grasping at the edges of the slippery surface of his furniture as he pushed her skirt up and out of the way, entering her frantically with wild thrusts that made her wince and left bruises on her hips for days. Delphine remembered how her thoughts had raced frantically, hoping that this would work and she would finally get his attention and not be pushed to the wayside...

‘I have certainly managed that.’ Delphine thought, wondering if she should be at all proud of that accomplishment as he rubbed his length against her and pushed his tongue into her mouth. Aldous had continued their… arrangement, discreetly of course.

For an old man, he certainly was virile. Delphine suspected, though she certainly had no-one to share this suspicion with, that Aldous had made… enhancements. Or taken some pills at least. What with his being the face of Neolution, the blonde was certain that the pride of an older man would push him to at least make attempts to keep up with a much younger lover.

Delphine honestly would rather he have the stereotypical sexual stamina of a man his age. When he flipped on top of her again, eagerly reaching for the few condoms he had strewn on the bedside table, she had to bite back a sigh and replace it with a lusty moan. Delphine enjoyed sex and had had many lovers, taking to bed a broad spectrum of male specimen that humanity had to offer her. Aldous Leekie was attractive for his mind only and she felt nothing for him physically. It wasn’t so much his age as she had had older male lovers before, but just… the chemistry. She had thought, when she had begun her seduction, that his charismatic, near magnetic personality would make this arrangement at least more pleasurable.

But Aldous made love like he was playing an audience. He preferred one position: on top and missionary, her legs wrapped around him and her hands pulling him in. He had to be all encompassing and overwhelming. He enjoyed not so much the pleasure of his audience but the pleasure he derived from having a captive audience that hung on to his every word or in this case, hung on to his dick and worshipped it like it was the new messiah raining manna from heaven.

As he pushed into her again with a guttural grunt, she held on and buried her face into his neck, letting her mind wander again. Engaging in an affair with Leekie had ensured that she rode on the same elevator he was in, all the way to the top. She no longer had to raise her voice to be heard when Leekie listened attentively and expected others to do so. Delphine was certain she surprised him with her solid research and intellect and knew, with this assignment, that he certainly valued her for more than just her body now.

That thought at least soothed Delphine as Leekie ground her into the mattress and she clung on, matching his movements smoothly.

 

\---

 

Delphine’s breath caught in her throat when she saw her subject. 324B21. Dreadlocked, spectacled and so tiny… sharp and from what she could hear of her conversation with the man sitting across from her, witty, too. Delphine cast her eyes back into the eyepiece of her own microscope and tried not to grin as the woman told off the young man in a very nice way. The blonde had not expected 324B21 to be so… cute and humorous. When Delphine could see that 324B21 had taken off her glasses and focused on her own microscope, Delphine looked up again to study her subject.

Delphine had seen pictures of course, but whether it was because of the realness of 324B21, the proximity to HER subject… she didn’t know why she was so excited. Or maybe she did as the sheer enormity of looking at this EVIDENCE of humanity’s ingenuity in front of her seemed to hit the Frenchwoman. 324B21 represented a gigantic advancement that humanity had made, like Neil Armstrong’s first steps on the moon, Dolly the sheep, Norman Borlaug’s green revolution, the atomic bomb, the computer…

The vibrating of her phone shocked her out of her intense focus and she picked up the call immediately, remembering her script.

“Delphine.” Aldous’ smooth voice sounded in her ear. Delphine went through her lines as rehearsed at Aldous’ prompt. Glancing up in the middle of her supposedly heated exchange, she noticed 324B21 watched her with an intense curiosity. Most people were drawn to fights and discord, that’s why cars slow down to gawk at accidents. It was human nature and it was a sure way to get 324B21’s attention.

“I’m sorry.” Delphine apologized for her public ‘fight’.

324B21 gestured with her hands, almost seeming to physically brush off her concerns. Delphine’s heart was pounding, as she gathered her things, leaving behind the necessary paperwork and exited the lab. She took no more than a few dozen steps away, still visible from the door of the lab. With her back to where she had come from, tears were easy to produce.

“Hey… sorry.” 324B21 hand on her arm got her attention and Delphine turned to face her subject. Up close, she seemed even more impressive. 324B21 smiled apologetically at her, the dark-haired woman almost seeming to vibrate with nervous energy. Delphine knew possibly she was romanticizing this whole experience but 324B21 seemed to be just bursting with life. “You just… forgot this in the lab. Sorry.”

“Thank you.” Delphine took the transcript back, tucking it in her bag. First contact made.

“Bbb…” 324B21 came back, nonsensical sounds and a hand in the air, hesitant and trying to get Delphine’s attention again. “Full disclosure, I, um, did peek.”

Delphine nodded, a little bit unsure of how she should proceed. She had not expected further contact, but it had been a possibility.

“You’re French… you’ve killer grades.” 324B21 complimented. Delphine smiled at that. When making her fake transcripts, DYAD used her actual grades from when she was in school.

“Thank you. Um, uh,” Delphine wiped at the moisture on her face. “Oh god, I’m not usually, usually like this.”

After giving up her story of her fake break-up with her imaginary boyfriend, Delphine almost felt bad as 324B21 nodded and listened sympathetically. The conversation changed to their different areas of study, 324B21’s face lighting up, her hands dancing as she talked about ‘evo-devo’ before stopping herself almost sheepishly.

Delphine held out her hand to 324B21. “Delphine.”

“Cosima.” 324B21--Cosima took her hand, the warmth of it sending a shiver up Delphine’s spine. The name fit the bright-eyed woman. “Enchantée.”

The way… Cosima… mimicked her French was incredibly charming and Delphine couldn’t help laughing a bit.

“French isn’t my first language.” Cosima took the laughter in stride. “It’s not even my second or third… or… anything. But I do know the odd phrases.”

“Oh?” Delphine raised an eyebrow.

“Voulez-vous coucher avec moi.” Cosima bared her teeth in a grin that set Delphine laughing and groaning at the same time.

“Oh, non, non, non. That song.” Delphine rolled her eyes.

“Oui, oui, oui.” Cosima replied impishly, doing an obnoxious impression of a French accent that sent Delphine laughing again and truthfully, it felt marvelous. Like she hadn’t laughed in a long time. And though it felt great, because she was so unaccustomed to it, she clammed up, blushing and unsure.

“I’m taking lunch in half an hour.” Cosima suddenly announced. “There’s a nice place with decent baguettes. If you meet me back here in half, we can go together.”

“Do you think that is all the French eat? Baguettes?” Delphine crossed her arms, trying to decided whether to take Cosima up on the offer, thoughts about ‘subjects’, ‘experiments’, and her ‘objective’ gone out the window.

“You guys also eat snails and like, croissants, right?” Cosima’s tone was innocent but the mischievous smile gave her away. “Come on, it’ll be fun.”

“Hm.” Delphine shrugged, almost shyly. “Well, I am newly transferred here, so I do not know anyone.”

“Perfect opportunity to experience some American hospitality!” Cosima gave a flourish of her hands.

“American hospitality,” Delphine made an approximation of a gun with her thumb and forefinger, remembering briefly how one grad student had tried to befriend her by showing her memes that she did not quite understand, but thought would be appropriate for this situation. “Like ‘pew pew pew, ‘Murica’?”

“That is completely offensive.” Cosima said seriously, though the smirk on her face said that she was anything but offended. “So I insist you apologize at lunch. Remember to wear your beret.”

Delphine laughed again, taken by surprise at how delightful Cosima--her subject, was.

“Fine. I will… clean up a bit.” Delphine wiped under her eyes, hoping her crocodile tears hadn’t destroyed her make-up completely. For some reason, she actually felt truly embarrassed to be caught crying. She wanted to have made a better impression on Cosima.

“Take your time. I’ll be in the lab.” Cosima started walking backwards, motioning towards the lab with a quick flourish of her hands. “See ya?”

“À tout à l’heure.” Delphine nodded as her phone vibrated, notifying her of an incoming message.

**Did you make contact?**

Delphine bit her lip, glancing over her shoulder to see Cosima disappearing into the lab.

**Yes.**

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> author’s note: woooooah. Kicking and screaming, my muse is still sticking around for a bit. Writing’s a bit rusty. Here we go! Please excuse the timing, it might be a bit off but I’m trying to remember, re-watch and gauge how long they might’ve known each other and how long I have to develop their relationship. If you have a timeline, give me a shout! Since Orphan Black only filmed during fall/winter, it felt like their love affair spanned like… only like half a year? More? I dunno.

* * *

          “Cosima,” Delphine raised her hand to grab the young woman’s attention, feeling herself brighten exponentially at the teeth-baring grin that Cosima bestowed upon her. The weird heaviness she was feeling between her eyes lifted slightly at the sight of the cheerful PhD student.

            “Delphine.” The brunette said her name, drawing it out in an almost whine as she neared the blonde’s table. “Delphineeeeee.”

            “Cosima.” Delphine repeated her… subject’s name. Subject. Delphine had to remind herself. The spectacled woman groaned again in a positively indecent manner, causing Delphine to squirm uncomfortably.

            “DELPHINE.”

            “Cosima.” Delphine tilted her head to the side in befuddlement. The PhD student let out a sharp laugh at that and put her tray down. She leaned over the table to ruffle her hair, then smooth it down at Delphine’s whine of protest. There was no mistaking the fondness that Delphine found on Cosima’s face and the blonde felt her heart stutter at the evidence of Cosima’s emotions, her humanity. Delphine had discovered, after a few lunch and coffee dates, that Cosima wore her heart on her sleeve and the blonde found that it was quite an endearing quality. Delphine wondered if Cosima could see the emotions on her own face and was sure her expression mirrored Cosima’s.

            The monitor felt quite attached to her subject.

            The two, since meeting less than two weeks ago, and they had formed an inexplicable bond and got on like a house on fire. It was hard to even be apart from each other for more than 24 hours and even then, Cosima and Delphine texted constantly. There was still a wariness to Cosima, and sometimes Delphine could see a wall come slamming down and suspicion dull her eyes. If Delphine asked, Cosima would brush off her queries and the Frenchwoman learned quickly not to ask anymore.

            “What?” Delphine pouted.

            “Nothing. I just missed you.” Cosima grinned again, in that way that set Delphine squirming uncomfortably again, her insides rolling and flipping like a ship on stormy seas. “I’m surprised you picked the cafeteria today. No wine and cheese?”

            “Stop it, you.” Delphine swatted Cosima across the arm, grinning at the PhD student. “We cannot keep leaving campus when we both have cards for food here.”

            “So frugal.” Cosima glanced at what Delphine had picked out. “Pizza?”

            “It is the only edible thing.” Delphine shrugged.

            “I was thinking you were more the salad type.”

            “You assume a lot about me.”

            “Mistakes will be made in the beginnings of our friendship,” Cosima replied, a finger in the air. Always her hands, always moving. “Then you get the opportunity to correct me and give me the real deal. The whole sha-bang.”

            “You mean you are fishing for information and deliberately baiting me to give you more.” Delphine raised an eyebrow at Cosima.

            “Yes.” Cosima nodded unrepentantly and started on her sandwich. They ate together in companionable silence before Cosima paused to wash down her sandwich with a sip of coke.

            “So, what do you like to eat? Like, you would die for it right now, eat? Cuz this cafeteria food is really depressing.”

            “Right now, I would love risotto aux truffes,” Delphine caught the bottom of her lip as she struggled to translate the dish into English. “Truffles… with… risotto?”

            “Oh, fancy.” Cosima grinned.

            “I had some at this restaurant back home, I do not quite remember the name of it…” Delphine’s eyes widened excitedly. “But oh, that risotto. It was the best I have ever tasted! Just, the aroma, the taste, the richness of the cream--”

            “Wow, so if I wanted to take you to a restaurant, I’d have to have deep pockets.”

“Mais oui,” Delphine teased. “I am not a cheap date.”

            “Hm. I feel sorry for your boyfriend now, knowing what he had to deal with.” Cosima’s comment made Delphine pause and watch the other woman’s face, Cosima’s tone too casual and her face too studiously blank.

            ‘Does she know?’ Delphine’s heart sped up a bit and she tried to push aside her fear with a light laugh.

            “He certainly did not complain.” Delphine smiled sweetly. Cosima’s eyes met Delphine’s across the table and stared at her, looking through her.

            ‘She knows.’ Delphine, in that instant, was certain. She didn’t know how, but she was sure Cosima suspected her of something. Aldous did mention that Cosima was problematic and might have had contact with one of her sisters...

            “Right. Sure.” Cosima shrugged, signalling the end of her pursuit of this subject, to Delphine’s relief. Lunch finished, both of them had places to be, but Cosima stopped Delphine before she could run off.

            “Dinner tonight?” Cosima stacked the garbage on her tray. They really have been spending a lot of time together, more than Delphine would have ever spent with anybody ever. It was unbearable to be with someone so often, but Delphine felt actually happy in Cosima’s presence. She was stimulated, amused and contented all at once. It was… strange.

            “Yes.” Delphine said immediately, despite having already seen Cosima for five days straight. Aldous had said to get close to her subject, so Delphine was just following her orders. It was just her luck that she enjoyed Cosima’s presence immensely.

            ‘This is for science.’ Delphine tried to convince herself. ‘I’m being a good monitor.’

            “My place, then? We still have some leftover Chinese food.” Cosima walked with Delphine to the nearest trashcan and tossed her garbage. “Seven?”

            “See you then.” Delphine nodded and reached out awkwardly to take Cosima’s hand, hesitating a bit. Cosima closed the distance, twined her fingers in Delphine’s and gave a brief squeeze.

            “Hey.” Cosima smirked. “It’s okay.”

            Delphine just smiled and let her hand drop to her side, feeling unsettled. What was okay? What was this? She could feel the heaviness in her head returning and gave Cosima a tight, but apologetic smile.

            “I’ll see you tonight, Cosima.” Delphine excused herself quickly, hurrying away as her thoughts spun out of control. She felt like she was missing something, some integral piece of information in their interaction. It felt like it was at the tip of her tongue, but she just needed it verbalized for the thought to manifest.

            ‘Maybe I need a break from Cosima.’ Delphine mused but immediately banished the thought as soon as it crossed her mind. No matter how much this situation with Cosima--the subject, confused her, Delphine knew one thing for certain. She enjoyed Cosima’s companionship, her friendship, too much to stay away for long.

 

* * *

              “Delphine?”

            It took a while for the monitor to register who it was on the other end of her phone, the heaviness in her head made her feel slow and stupid. She felt equal parts hot and cold and everything ached.

            “Cosima?” Delphine’s voice sounded like gravel rubbing against each other, speaking irritating her throat and sending her into a coughing fit.

            “Yikes. I just wanted to see what you wanted to eat cuz the Chinese food was left out all night so that’s a no go. But you don’t sound good.”

            “I…” Delphine tried to get up but immediately lay back down when that brought on a bout of light-headedness. “I… je suis désolé, Cosima.”

            Cosima could guess from Delphine’s tone of voice, what she was trying to convey. “That’s okay. You caught something?”

            “Perhaps.” Delphine looked over at her bedside clock, noticing that it was almost seven. “I am sorry, I should have called--”

            “It’s fine.” Cosima soothed. “You okay?”

            “I feel like... how do you say it… I feel like shit.” Delphine mumbled.

            “I think this is the first time I’ve heard you sort of swear in English. How do you manage to still sound so upper-class bourgeois saying ‘shit’?”

            “Because I **am** upper-class bourgeois. I will always sound absolutely classy even with your influence. Commoner.” Delphine quipped. She didn’t know if she made any sense or not. She felt a bit feverish. “You probably gave me these commoner germs, too. And now I am sick.”

            “Oh wow, Marie Antoinette. Sure, blame me for everything.” Cosima’s dry reply elicited a weak chuckle from Delphine which was quickly followed by groans of pain. Everything hurt and the heaviness in her head had transformed into a dull, throbbing headache. Delphine was pretty sure it was some of the freshmen she was TA for that passed along their sickness to her, but it was fun to tease Cosima.

            “Wanna tell me where you are?”

            “Home.”

            “Okay. Well, your address?”

            Delphine gave the information unthinkingly, feeling sleepy again.

            “Alright. You hold on, this peasant’s on her way.”

            “Why?”

            “Put you to the guillotine, of course. You sound miserable enough.”

            “Hurry. Before your commoner germs kill me.”

            Delphine went back to sleep, unsure if the conversation she just had had really occurred. After what seemed like only a couple of minutes, however, there was an insistent knocking at her door. Delphine stumbled out of bed, realizing she was still in her day clothes.

            ‘At least I managed to take off my shoes before going to bed.’ Delphine shivered as she made her way to the door and glanced through the peephole. Cosima stood on the other end and gave a wave, seeming to sense Delphine on the other side of the door.

            “Not that I’m complaining, but if you want to catch pneumonia, too, you can continue wearing barely anything.” Cosima said as she pushed Delphine back into the apartment and settled her on the couch. The throw folded neatly at one end of the couch was quickly wrapped around Delphine’s shoulders and she was urged to lie back down again.

            “Didn’t bring a thermometer, do you have one? No? But since you’re shaking so much, lets keep you wrapped up a little bit.” Cosima pressed a cool hand to Delphine’s forehead. “You’re like a furnace.”

            “But I feel so cold.” The taller woman whined. A cold bottle of water was pressed to her forehead and Delphine squeaked in surprise.

            “Drink up. You need to stay hydrated.” Cosima held up a plastic bag that Delphine hadn’t even noticed she had when she came in. “Brought you sustenance so you just relax. Point me to the direction of your fancy kitchen.”

            Delphine gestured generally and Cosima wandered off. It was nice to have someone take care of her, she hadn’t had someone look after her like this since boarding school and it truly gladdened her heart. As she dozed, she could hear Cosima puttering around in the kitchen, banging pots and pans and soon, the smell of something delicious cooking was filling her apartment. The fact that Cosima had never been to her apartment before suddenly occurred to her--Delphine shot up from the couch. She had 324B21’s files strewn out on her desk in her bedroom!

            The blonde lurched to her bedroom still wrapped in the blanket Cosima had thrown over her, heading to the files on her desk and stuffing them into one of the compartments of her desk. She closed her desk drawer just as Cosima poked her head into the room.

            “Hey, your place is totally awesome.” Cosima looked slightly impressed...and suspicious at the same time as she cast her eyes on the desk and the drawer. “Come on. Lock up and come out.”

            Delphine was quite relieved that Cosima wasn’t going to make an issue of it and happily followed Cosima back into the living room, making sure to close her bedroom door behind her.

            “It’s not truffles, but I hope you like it.” Cosima had put out a bowl of rice covered in a thick-looking white mushroom sauce.

            “What is this?” Delphine sat down and eagerly took the spoon Cosima handed to her.

            “This is Chef Niehaus’ very own creation.” Cosima smirked and sat down beside Delphine. “It’s white jasmine rice from the far off land of Panda Express, covered in zee cream of zee mushrooms from the Campbell’s line. I hope it’s to my lady’s taste.”

            “Crème de champignons. It is delicious.” Delphine ate a few bites, the first mouthful doing a good job of reminding her stomach of how hungry she actually was. This was no risotto aux truffes, but it coaxed a deep warmth inside her, a truly comfortable heat.

            “Merci, Cosima.” Delphine smiled at Cosima gratefully once she was done her meal.

            “Hey, what are friends for?” Cosima reached out to cup a hand against Delphine’s cheek. The blonde leaned in to the touch instinctively, breathing out a sigh of contentment.

            “You’ve got a bit of colour back,” Cosima moved her hand to Delphine’s forehead and checked her temperature again. “Maybe it’s me being optimistic, but seems like your fever isn’t quite as bad. But just in case, I have some medication for you.”

            Cosima pulled out a box of Tylenol Flu & Cold.

            “Taadaa! Canadian version!” Cosima flipped the box to show the French cover of the box. “One side’s English, the other side’s in French! Makes you feel more at home, right?”

            “Where did you even get this?”

            “A friend from Canada left them here when she stayed one time.” Cosima shrugged, suddenly looking pained. “She… won’t need them anymore so might as well use them, right? These’ll knock you out real quick. No allergies?”

            “Non. American medicine is always in colourful gel-pills.” Delphine hummed, accepting the pills and a glass of water. She trusted Cosima implicitly to take care of her.

            “This is Canadian, so we’ll see. Alright, I’m going to just rinse and toss everything into the dishwasher.” Cosima pointed to the bathroom. “You still have your make-up on, you should probably wash up.”

            “I could do the dishes--”

            Cosima made shushing sounds, blocking her way to the kitchen. “Let me take care of you. Go go go. You can get dinner for me next time.”

            The whole scene was quite domestic, Delphine observed. She stood there for a second at the door to her bedroom, watching Cosima cleaning up. It had been a long time since anybody had done this for her, shown so much care for her. The blonde made her way to the bathroom, quickly washing her face, taking care of her teeth and moisturizing. Delphine hurried back out to the living room and found Cosima sitting on the couch, watching TV and waiting for her.

            “Hey, feeling a bit better?”

            “Oui--yes. A lot better.” Delphine padded over and sat down next to Cosima, closing her eyes and leaning against the PhD student. “Thank you for coming to see me, Cosima.”

            “Well, we are stuck with each other. So I might as well look out for you.” Cosima nudged Delphine with her head. Delphine eyes shot up to her hairline as she leaned back to regard Cosima with a contemplative look.

            “And on that note, I’m off.” Cosima patted Delphine’s knee awkwardly. The young woman shrugged on her distinct red coat, bundling up in a scarf before turning back to look at Delphine awkwardly.

            “And hey, you know. We’re friends. Or at least I’d like to think we are.” Cosima’s hands flew again, in constant motion. “So… whatever. I like you--hanging around you. You know. We’re like, good together. We make sense. It’s… we’re an equation and this, thing we have--” Cosima motioned between the two of them, “--we just make sense.”

            Delphine reached out, snagging Cosima’s hand before the spectacled woman could run out the door.

            “We are.” Delphine struggled against a flood of frustrations, French wanting to pour out in waves of emotions, to speak and be understood. What she says, she feels, is severely lacking. But Delphine tries. “Friends. We are. You can trust me.”

            Cosima grins in a foolhardy way, a smile that Delphine instinctively loves. It is truly Cosima, unfettered, unfiltered, totally open and truthful. Freely given and willingly bestowed on Delphine who suddenly feels a sharp stab of guilt.

            “I think I do.” Cosima squeezes her hand once, then makes her escape, leaving Delphine standing there staring achingly at the door.


	3. Chapter 3

Bring her in.

That was what Aldous wanted. Bring her into the fold, take her to Toronto. Ease her into DYAD. Convince Cosima. Make her want to work for us, with us.

‘He should have just told me to make her drink the Kool-Aid while he was at it.’ Delphine thought wryly of her last conversation with Leekie. So here she was, lurking around the shelves of the library, trying to find books for her course but also using this as an opportunity to stalk Cosima.

‘I’m not stalking. I’m doing my job.’ Delphine corrected herself as she scrolled through her phone mindlessly. A tiny voice insisted that even if it was her job, one of the duties was definitely stalking. And she was actually quite happy to do it because she hadn’t seen Cosima in all of… two days. Delphine had spent one getting better and back up to speed after her 24-hour flu. Cosima had begged off the next day and couldn’t commit to meeting at all, even for a quick bite. Delphine had felt restless the entire time, wanting to see Cosima, wanting to talk to her, wanting to see her.

When the blonde finally did catch sight of her, she felt almost unbearably excited to see Cosima, feeling like she hadn’t seen Cosima in years and not just a day. Cosima was rifling through a section of shelves, hunting for a book, it seemed. As if suddenly realizing she was being watched, she turned this way and that, frowning, then beamed a million watt smile at Delphine when she caught sight of her. A mischievous look came over Cosima’s face as she ducked around the shelves and disappeared before Delphine could get to her.

“Cosima!” Delphine whispered loudly, trying not to laugh at the other woman’s playfulness.

“What?” Cosima’s voice startled her and the blonde ducked to look through book spaces at Cosima.

“What are you doing?”

“Playing tag.” Cosima winked at Delphine. “If you catch me, I’ll treat you to dinner.”

“That is unfair. I did not know the rules before you made them.” Delphine pouted. “And I should be treating you after you took care of me.”

“You’re right.” Cosima nodded. “So let’s go dutch? The place I wanna go is way above my budget.”

“So if I catch you, we can go to dinner together is what you are proposing?” Delphine shook her head in amusement. “Did you just manipulate me into agreeing to a fancy dinner with you just so I would pay half?”

“Yes.” Cosima answered, unapologetic.

“Hm.” Delphine wandered up the aisle and Cosima followed along, the red of her jacket flitting in and out between the spaces of the books on the shelf between them.

“So?” Cosima asked as they paused near the end of the shelf.

“So…” Delphine suddenly darted around the shelf and it was only Cosima’s quick reflexes that helped her escape the blonde’s clutches.

“No running! That’s cheating!” Delphine was speed-walking after Cosima who had slowed her sprint to a fast-paced jog.

“Your long legs are cheating!” Cosima whispered back before bolting off and speeding up the stairs to the second floor of the library. They were giggling and running around for a while before one of the library staff caught sight of them and started marching in their direction with a deep scowl. That prompted Delphine to duck into an aisle in a panic, hoping she wouldn’t get in trouble.

‘Have I regressed to the maturity of a ten year old?’ Delphine thought to herself as she quickly grabbed a book and pretended to read, heart hammering in her chest. The sound of the library staff’s footsteps came closer and closer to her aisle until the loud sound of a phone trilling obnoxiously made those approaching steps stop.

“MISS! No phones in the library!” The irate man’s voice carried across the entire floor of the library they were on, bringing upon intense shame to whoever that phone belonged to.

“Sorry! Sorry, I gotta take this.” Cosima’s voice was apologetic but not apologetic at all. Delphine clapped a hand over her own mouth to stop from laughing. Of course it was Cosima.

“You have to take your calls outside--”

“Yeah, sorry, alright, I’m going.”

As Delphine strained to hear in which direction Cosima had run off to, she felt a buzz in her pocket. Taking out her phone, she read the new message.

**Is she going**

Delphine caught her lower lip between her teeth and tapped back a reply.

**I haven’t asked yet**

Cosima passed by in front of her, startled slightly and gave a grin and a wave before continuing her walk while talking on the phone. If she kept walking, the library staff that had yelled at her couldn’t stop her from talking on the phone in the library.

The blonde walked out of the aisle to keep Cosima in her line of sight and couldn’t keep the coquettish smile from blossoming on her face as the shorter woman looked over her shoulder, tracking Delphine with her eyes.

“MISS.”

Delphine jumped at the sound of the library staff’s voice. He seemed particularly agitated, probably warranted since he was trying to chase Cosima down and the dreadlocked woman had yet to put down her phone.

“This is a place to study. If you aren’t here to study, please leave.”

“Of course. I’m sorry.” Delphine blurted out, quickly rushing away to a table. She spread her books out on the table and started to furiously study, only pausing half an hour into her studying to wonder how in the world she got pressured into being a good student by an over-zealous bookkeeper.

“Hey, Delphine.” Cosima was back, suddenly, filling her vision, pulling her back in.

“Heyyyy… Bonjour, Cosima.” Delphine smiled up at Cosima innocently, as if they hadn’t been chasing each other around the library just recently.

Cosima “I’m bored.”

It was an easy opener to inviting Cosima to Dr. Leekie’s little talk and Delphine felt relieved when Cosima accepted with minimal fight.

“Oh, one more thing, Cosima.” Delphine motioned for Cosima to come closer and the shorter woman sidled up obediently, sitting almost directly in front of her on the table.

“Yes?” Cosima leaned closer to her, grinning that smug, all-encompassing grin. Delphine just smiled up at Cosima and wrapped a hand around the other woman’s wrist, could feel the other woman’s pulse racing in her veins.

“I caught you.”

Cosima’s grin fell off her face and Delphine allowed herself a low chuckle.

“It doesn’t count!”

“You came to me, ma chérie.” The endearment slipped off her tongue as naturally as any other word. She hoped the flush she felt on her face wasn’t visible. “Fair is fair. I think we have a dinner date.”

Cosima rolled her eyes, the grin back on her face. “Well, since you insist. But I’m hungry now.”

“Lunch? We have time before the lecture.”

“Oui, oui.” Cosima winked. “Give me a sec, let me go pack up.”

They wandered off campus and found a nice cafe to duck into, sharing a bagel sandwich and indulging in the surprisingly good cappuccinos while waiting out their time until the lecture, filling the time with a heated but friendly debate on the morality of self-directed evolution. It was so natural to just spend the whole day in Cosima’s company, so easy to just get lost in her presence.

So easy to be late.

“Ah, Cosima, we have to go or else we’ll be late!” Delphine had gotten a glimpse at the clock on the wall and almost spilled her drink all over herself in her haste to get up.

“Woah, woah, woah. Careful. Where’s the fire?” Cosima soothed, but was obediently getting up and pulling on her jacket. They hurried back on campus, with a couple of minutes to spare.

Delphine was about to pat herself on the back for getting Cosima there on time before the girl excused herself to the washroom and the blonde was left to enter the lecture hall alone. There were a lot of people in the lecture and a small group of them surrounded Leekie as he played to his audience. He caught sight of her however and raised an eyebrow in her direction when he couldn’t spot Cosima.

The door to the lecture hall opened again and Cosima slipped into the room, to Delphine’s relief. She would never hear the end of it from Leekie if Cosima decided to skip this lecture. They exchanged a few words before Delphine pulled her into a seat in the front row, in plain view of Leekie. When Leekie tried to engage Cosima and the woman retorted with a dry, dismissive response, Delphine had to hide her smile. She was in charge of bringing Cosima, not in charge of reining in her biting wit.

Delphine found it hard to pay attention at all to what Aldous was saying as she had a perfectly good view of Cosima’s profile. Soft and sharp at the same time, her eyes crinkling--winking. Brown eyes, filled with mirth, directed at her.

‘Caught you.’ Cosima seemed to say without actually saying. She’s not really paying attention and Delphine turns away to give Aldous her attention again, could see that he’s intentionally not looking at them but notices their inattention. The tightness around his eyes and the hard set of his jaw even when he smiled didn’t go unnoticed by the blonde monitor, but she couldn’t seem to care.

“If I self-directed my evolution, I might evolve myself some shapeshifter abilities.” Cosima leaned over, ears pressed against the shell of Delphine’s ear.

“Self-directed evolution, not mutant powers.” Delphine kept her eyes front, trying not to shiver at the brush of the other woman’s lips against sensitive skin. “You are not paying attention.”

“Neither are you.” Cosima grinned. Delphine knew she did without even seeing that teeth-baring spread of her mouth, just by the sound of her voice, the feel of the stretch of her lips, her heated breath and the smoothness of teeth. All those sensations hit her, barely one second of contact, but Delphine suddenly felt like her… her heart was a receptacle that had exploded and a warm, cloying HEAT was sinking through her, dripping into her stomach, spreading into her bones. When Cosima sat back into her own chair, Delphine felt ACUTELY the loss of her presence. It was… jarring, and difficult to understand the what and the why that was happening to her, but it was distracting to say the very least.

Throughout the rest of the lecture, Delphine kept her eyes studiously up front, but once in a while, felt her concentration completely derailed by a whispered joke, a brush of an arm against hers…

At the end of the lecture, Cosima pulled her into a riveting debate on the ethical and moral nature of neolution and her ability to draw out all of Delphine’s own problems with the topic made the blonde falter and search for an escape. Not that she didn’t agree with Cosima, of course she did and she relished this unspoken meeting of minds… but she was supposed to be seducing Cosima with some of the core ideas of the DYAD institute.

Thankfully, the man of the hour himself presented a perfect opportunity to change the topic and also a way to draw Cosima towards DYAD. Aldous Leekie turned on the charm, of course, but it seemed like the PhD student was not going to swayed by him at all and seemed more than a little bit uncooperative and just a bit antagonistic.

Even when Leekie gave her a card and expressed interest in her, she was reticent to say the least, and even Aldous had to admit defeat and excuse himself to spend some time with his ‘Freaky Leekies’. Delphine felt like a chastisement was in order, but it was half-hearted at best. Cosima had perfected the look that would have Delphine forgiving her for anything she did, which was good because in the next moment, Cosima made a grab for those complimentary bottles of wine Aldous liked to keep out for everyone. The PhD student pushed one bottle into one of Delphine’s hands and took her free one, dragging Delphine out of the lecture hall with her before anybody was the wiser.

Their run left them breathless, but ecstatic and giggling at their bout of juvenile delinquency, prompting a craving for nicotine for Delphine. As she lit up, let the smoke settle comfortably in her lungs, she exhaled, relaxing in the easy comfort of Cosima’s presence. Further offers of continuing their crime spree was put off gently as the blonde did have a class she had to TA, but she felt a rush of affection for the other woman as they meandered, loitering and extending their goodbyes, and Delphine knew she had to go as she had no other excuse to stay and her class--that she was sure she’ll be late for--waiting on her.

“Ciao,” Delphine offered up the word then leaned over, pressing her lips against cold cheeks, lingering on both sides of Cosima’s face. The look on Cosima’s face struck a chord in Delphine that rang so high and sweet that it was almost painful. But she had to go, and she trudged, reluctantly away from the woman in the red coat.

Her phone vibrated in her pocket and she felt dread at seeing Aldous’ message. A hotel and a hotel room number, plus a time. This time, when she repeated the mantra in her head that this was work, just work… it didn’t work quite so well and did nothing to stop that sweetness Cosima had behind, from turning into a sharp bitter taste in her mouth as the deep abhorrence she felt at the thought of meeting Aldous curdled any positivity she had inside her.

But this was what she signed up for. And as she hefted her bag further up her shoulder and marched to class, Delphine was disturbed enough by the appearance of the next thought that it gave her pause.

Even doing this, doing something she was growing to despise… she would not change a thing at all if it brought her to this moment where she could meet Cosima, be close to her… it was worth it.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Delphine wearily kicked off her heels, shutting and locking the door behind her. As she headed to her bathroom, her clothing made a trail on the ground as she made her way to wash up. She needed to get the sour stench of Aldous’ body off of hers. The evening’s exercise had left her sore and bruised, but she didn’t mind the pain. Aldous had been rougher, had pressed her face roughly against the the wall of the hotel room. She let him work her despite the pain, despite not having time to prepare and mentally get into her zone, didn’t have time to make sure she was more receptive. Her frustration made her push back eagerly into him, though, seeking that pain, wanting to flush away the confusion she felt.

Aldous had let out his own frustrations on her, pounding into Delphine and panted about how Cosima was a ‘hard nut to crack’. That 324B21---Cosima---needed to come to DYAD. That Delphine was making good progress but he needed the blonde monitor to do better. Do. Better. Punctuating each word with a hard thrust as if to pound the seriousness of this work into her body.

He wanted to talk to Cosima again and Delphine felt reticent, a ferocious unwillingness to offer the dreadlocked woman up to Aldous Leekie. But while she was putting her clothes back on, he had casually commented on Cosima’s last monitor and how she hadn’t been able to complete her objective. He left out how she was replaced; it didn’t need to be mentioned. His warning was unspoken. Delphine knew she could be replaced at any time if she didn’t give results, even if she was sleeping with him.

He would take her away from Cosima.

Delphine stood under the shower, letting the water soak through her hair, run down her body, hopefully wash away all the mess that this assignment had left in her. What she was feeling… it was a mixture of revulsion at the subterfuge, general irritation at EVERYTHING, and it seemed like a deep, bitter ache when thinking about Cosima.

She watched, emotionlessly, as the water ran down the valley of her breasts, streamed down over the plains of her belly, slicking through the bruised flesh at the apex of her legs and streaming down in pink rivulets, down the pale columns of her legs.

She watched as water at her feet tinged pink before being drawn down the drain, the evidence of her night’s activities erased. Wearily, she went about washing her body, always thankful that Aldous always came prepared and the thought of sex without a condom seemed to not ever occur to him. Aldous, was, if nothing else, meticulous and discreet.

‘I cannot keep doing this.’ Delphine stepped out of the shower, toweling off her hair and shivering at the comparatively cooler air outside of her glass-enclosed shower stall. She was red from head to toe, either from the scalding water or the scrubbing she had given herself that probably took off the first layer of her skin. She felt sore, outside and in. She wanted to sleep and just disappear for a while, curl up in a warm cocoon on her bed and just let oblivion take her. But she went through the motions, brushed her teeth, used toner and moisturizer, blow-dried her hair, before even allowing herself to exit the bathroom.

Sliding in naked between the sheets of her bed, Delphine let out a sigh that was equal parts world-weary and contented. Without her skin-tight dress and her make-up, she felt better. Her wax mask was gone for the night and she can be herself... at least until she had to wrap herself in that mold again. The buzz of her phone made Delphine groan but she picked it up dutifully to read the message she had just received. It could be work.

**are you awake?**

Delphine couldn’t help the smile that came to her lips.

**no**

**these lies you tell hurt me, Delphine**

Delphine smiled as another message popped up quickly after the last one.

**I was hungry and thought about you**

Delphine chewed on her bottom lip to prevent the full-out grin that would blossom on her face.

**You are hungry and you think of me? Why is that?**

There was a pause that seemed too long for Delphine, before Cosima’s message reached her.

**i think of you when i’m thirsty, too**

Delphine didn’t know what to make of that and just shook her head at Cosima’s cryptic words. She was sure it was some American slang, but she did not feel like asking about it, didn’t have the patience to interpret the meaning because of the night she’d had.

**I have no idea what you are saying**

**let’s go to dinner tomorrow. I made reservations**

Delphine noticed the quick change of topic but didn’t comment on it, agreeing wholeheartedly.

**wear something nice**

Delphine quirked up an eyebrow and snuggled deeper into her bed, the only light to be seen pouring out from her phone.

**I’m always wearing something nice**

**Good point. So I just wanna tell you that I’m wining and dining you**

Delphine bit her lip to stop the grin that was trying to take over her face.

**you are trying to woo me?**

**you caught me. is it working? i’ve been trying to be extra charming around you but you don’t seem to notice how awesome i am**

Delphine couldn’t help a tiny laugh from escaping her lips. Cosima’s playfulness was the bit of fun she never really got to have or allowed herself, and truthfully, didn’t expect in this assignment.

**When you say charming, do you mean you being generally obnoxious?**

**you hurt me with your words.**

Delphine could just imagine the dry look on Cosima’s face.

**oh, poor bébé.**

**Did your phone autocorrect to French? … who else you calling baby in French?**

**too many people. ah, the life of one of the popular kids**

**Boo. I thought I was your only one. :(**

Delphine laughed again as a picture of Cosima giving an impressive puppy-dog expression engulfed her screen.

**you are my one and only.**

Delphine sent that sentence, a deep sense of… rightness settling in her chest. It was a truth, of the little truths that she was allowed to give to Cosima. Something from deep in herself recognized the veracity of that sentence. Cosima was her one and only. Her one and only subject, her one and only… everything. Maybe it was slightly unhealthy, the way Delphine focused so solely on Cosima. But the shorter woman was the culmination of everything she had done for her career, sacrificing precious time with friends and family to focus on her academic success, ditching lovers to pursue internships and sleepless nights in front of a computer screen agonizing over her dissertations… sleeping with Leekie… all of this had finally given her Cosima Niehaus. And it was worth it. Cosima was engaging and interesting and fun. She coloured outside of the lines with a manic glee, and she thought Delphine was brilliant and funny and worth all the hard work she had put in.

There was a long period with no reply from Cosima before Delphine’s screen lit up again.

**alright charmer, come pick me up at 7pm at my place tomorrow. <3**

Delphine sent back a smiley face blowing a kiss emoticon. Their flirty back-and-forth, and Delphine recognized it as such, was something the blonde loved. It was fun. She hadn’t had anything that amounted to fun in a long while.

**Goodnight!**

**bon nuit ;)**

Just that small conversation made Delphine feel a lot better, almost forgetting about how unpleasant the night had gone. But of course, with her luck, she didn’t get much of a reprieve as her phone lit up again, this time indicating that Leekie had sent her a message.

**My late meeting tomorrow just got cancelled. Would you like to have dinner?**

Delphine groaned, equal parts anger and frustration. It was that feeling you get when you did not have work for the next few days and your boss suddenly calls in and tells you to work that extra shift.

**Tomorrow I have dinner with Cosima.**

Delphine sent silent thanks to Cosima for popping that dinner invitation.

**Where?**

The question gave Delphine pause, a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. One of the things Delphine admired about Leekie but really hated at this moment was his tenacity. He was the face of Neolution, the pop-culture facade of the DYAD Institute, for a reason. He snared new investors and obsessive weirdos left and right not just because of his ability to give a great presentation, but because he was relentless in the pursuit of his goals and targets.

**I don’t know**

Delphine hoped he would leave it at that, but within the next second, Leekie had replied.

**Once you do, tell me. I will meet the both of you there. A coincidence, of course.**

Delphine wanted to scream into her pillow. She didn’t know how she fell asleep after the sheer frustration she felt from knowing that Leekie would be encroaching on her time with Cosima. Her sleep, however, was fitful at best and she woke up extremely irritated.

The day of dinner, she went to campus, did the lab time with her students, and went straight to Cosima’s place. Seeing the tiny woman run around her apartment in a miniature imitation of a tornado, however, brightened her mood exponentially.

Cosima’s pronouncement of being always late is proven wrong when they get to the restaurant on time. Delphine is suitably impressed, seeing that Cosima had picked a nice restaurant even though the ‘evo-devo’ major seemed to favour mostly greasy spoons and coffee spots. The spectacled woman even pulled out her chair for her while flashing that fanged grin that seemed to make Delphine’s heart trip over itself.

“What is the occasion for this dinner?” The blonde doctor asked after their drinks had arrived at their table.

“No occasion.” Cosima grinned again. “I just feel like you deserve a little bit of a break. You seem stressed out.”

“Just an experiment I’ve been working on.” Delphine shrugged, brushing as close to the truth as she could. “My supervisor is not that happy with me.”

“Could I help?” Cosima’s hand had reached out and found her knee, her fingertips burned into her skin. Delphine felt like the grin on her face would break her face, feeling completely at ease and just the touch of Cosima’s fingers and her worried expression was enough to settle her.

“You already are.” Delphine shyly put her hand on Cosima’s, then drew away, blinking rapidly. It felt like she was on the precipice of something, but she just didn’t understand what it was and it scared her. Cosima leaned back, not seeming to mind Delphine’s withdrawal and beaming at her, looking very much like she was the sun on a cloudless, blue day.

A text from Aldous killed her good mood though but she kept up a bright exterior, despite knowing Leekie would be showing up soon. She feigned surprise, too, when Aldous came into the restaurant and she spotted him and invited him over.

“Ladies, what a surprise to see the both of you here.” Aldous was as ingratiatingly genial as possible, but his presence seemed to put a damper on Cosima’s mood, which Aldous didn’t seem to notice. In fact, what Dr. Leekie seemed to have taken as the usual surliness he had come to expect from Cosima, Delphine knew better. Now Cosima hunched over and was unnecessarily acerbic, her words sharp and biting. Her wit was definitely showing and she was using it like a finely calibrated weapon to shut Leekie down whenever possible. It got to the point where Leekie finally took the hint and went to the bar to ‘wait for his friend’, away from the hostile woman.

“I got this,” Cosima muttered when Delphine moved to take her wallet out of her purse. “Least I could do after our dinner was ruined.”

“It was a lovely dinner,” Delphine tried to reassure Cosima, feeling incredibly guilty that she had allowed Aldous to come along.

“Well, let’s get out of here.” Cosima smiled, her sour mood turning sweeter, now that Leekie was gone. “I have a bottle of wine back at my place with our names on it.”

Despite it being a school night, Delphine gave her acquiescence, knowing that there was no saying no to that bright, hopeful look on Cosima’s face. All through the way home, Cosima entertained Delphine with ridiculous science-based pick-up lines that had Delphine in stitches and despite Aldous, Delphine managed to tease loud, brilliant laughter from Cosima’s chest. They walked arm in arm, tottering because they were jostling each other with whatever idea or conversation piece that they were jumping to. Cosima gesticulating, hands a blur as they spoke about Higgs, Darwin, tortoises, comic superheroes, animals, gluten-free muffins, really, anything that came to mind.

It wasn’t until they were back in Cosima’s apartment that Delphine checked her phone and saw that there was a text from Aldous asking for a meeting tomorrow to ‘discuss how to best deal with this set-back’.

Delphine felt her heart freeze at this. No. She was so close. She knew it, she was so close to-to.. to SOMETHING. She couldn’t leave Cosima now, she couldn’t bear to. She felt a bit of relief when she saw Cosima with Aldous’ card in her hand, saw the perfect opener to push and encourage Cosima in the right direction. Cosima was still… hesitant. Unenthusiastic. Frustratingly so. And when Delphine pushed again, Cosima’s eyes lifted to meet hers and Delphine suddenly couldn’t breath, feeling again like she was just hanging by a thread over a huge drop.

“Don’t you think, it’s time we admit what this is really about?”

Delphine wanted to… deny. She didn’t know what, could feel her heart race. Deny everything, hide, run, just escape from Cosima’s eyes that seem to be stripping her bare.

And when Cosima kissed her… when she kissed her it was what Delphine would always think back to as a moment akin to Columbus discovering America, to Einstein and his Theory of Relativity, Howard Carter and Tutankhamun, Nicolaus Copernicus and the rotation of the earth around the sun… All the wonders, discoveries, and uncovering of mysteries… this was what kissing Cosima felt like.

And it scared her so much that before she knew it, she was fleeing the apartment blindly with barely an explanation.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is sort of an apology for all the weird Leekie/Delphine stuff at the beginning of the chapter... this apology kinda devolved into smut. I'm so sorry. It's been a while since I've written anything. There will be more relationship development in future chapters, hopefully. And hopefully, I keep writing. I'm trying to power through my writing block but it's a mountain.

 

            Telling Aldous about Cosima’s amorous overtures didn’t do anything to organize her thoughts that were running a mile a minute. She took what comfort he offered, the comfort of the familiar as he let her lean into him and confess what had happened. She wanted someone, ANYONE, to just… tell her what she should be doing. Not about 324B21, but about COSIMA NIEHAUS.

            How she should be feeling, how she should be feeling about this sudden… she didn’t even know what to call it. Aldous saw this as an opening, his eyes gleaming as he saw it more as a way of bringing 324B21 into the fold then a midlife crisis of the sexual identity variety for Delphine. Took the time to really hammer in the fact that she was responsible for 324B21’s welfare, as she was her monitor.

            ‘I’m not even old enough for a midlife crisis.’ Delphine had to resist the overwhelming urge to wring her hands in agitation. His revelation that someone might be out to hurt Cosima also did nothing for her stomach as it flip-flopped unpleasantly. Thinking that someone wanted to hurt Cosima… just the thought of it was like an uncomfortable leaden weight in the pit of her gut. What was she going to do? Delphine had already ignored a couple of Cosima’s texts, asking her if she’s okay with the same cleverness and not-so-subtle bluntness she came to associate with Cosima.

            Standing on the sidewalk, choking on the fumes of Aldous’ car as it drove away, Delphine was suddenly confronted with how terribly alone she was. She had no-one to call for advice, no-one she particularly felt close enough to to contact, anyways. The only person, really, was Cosima. And she definitely couldn’t call the dread-locked woman.

            “Delphine!”

            She spun around, immediately recognizing the person who had called her, a name coming to the forefront of her mind. Greg. He was one of the other TA’s that her professor had.

            “Hey, didn’t know if that was you or not.” He was square-jawed and blue-eyed. ‘All-American beefcake’ popped into Delphine’s mind for some reason, and she remembered that at the beginning she had found him very attractive. But the way she remembered now, it was like remembering someone else’s memory, like these weren’t her own.

            “Hi… Greg?”

            His smile was nearly blinding, all-pearly white and straight. “Didn’t think you would remember my name. You have class? Or you wanna go kill some time and grab a coffee with me?”

            He raked his fingers through his hair in a gesture that Delphine immediately recognized as prompted by nervousness or anxiety. Noticed the flush on his cheeks and the nervous way his eyes darted from her face to somewhere else when she looked at him.

            “Sure.” Delphine glanced at her watch. She had nothing left to do today, but for some reason, she still kept thinking that she should be somewhere. She felt adrift, and Greg would make a perfect temporary anchor.

            They made their way quickly to a Starbucks, going through the motions of ordering a drink and finding a seat calmed Delphine down. The conversation was easy and their drinks were sweet and distracting. Delphine studied Greg with a critical eye, from the laces of his boots to the tips of his roguishly wind-swept hair. She could recognize that he was attractive and possibly attracted to her. Recognized that he was intelligent, he respected her, was interested in what she had to say. Greg was witty in a dry, surprising way, not unlike Cosima. He talked with his hands, too, but his movements were slow and calming while Cosima whipped the air with her limbs when she talked.

            “--busy?”

            “Pardon?” Delphine looked significantly apologetic. Her thoughts had wandered back to a soft press of lips that had set off explosions in Delphine and the aftershocks that were still rocking through her.

            “I asked if Cosima was busy.” Greg repeated. “You’re usually with her. I was actually surprised to catch you alone.”

            “... Yes. Well.” Delphine fidgeted with her cup, suddenly feeling a pang of loss. “Yes. She’s a bit busy right now.”

            “So I gotta ask, and I know maybe it’s none of my business, but I hope…” Greg cut himself off abruptly, his face flushed with embarrassment. After a beat, his question came out, all in a rush. “Are you like… seeing anyone?”

            “Oh.”

            “I mean, like, it’s cool if you are.” Greg fumbled. “I just feel like, maybe we could do this some more. Cuz I’m interested and I want to right off the bat tell you. Cuz you’re really nice and I feel like we could really get along.”

            “Oh. Oh, Greg. I’m sorry, I--” Delphine stopped herself before the words could come out. It had felt so natural to say that she already had someone. Was already involved. Had someone else on her mind, someone else worming into her heart.

            “Cosima, right?” Greg shook his head, laughed in a self-conscious, mortified way. “I had to try, anyways, ya know?”

            “We’re not..” Delphine pursed her lips. “We’re not together.”

            “No?” Greg relaxed back into his seat. “Well, wanna talk about it? Just, you know, as friends. If I haven’t screwed that up. Cuz we still gotta work with each other some time.”

            “No, it’s ok.” Delphine felt mortified for Greg, didn’t know how to react either as they both fumbled. But all that time, she was thinking about Cosima and wishing that the person in front of her was the other woman. “It’s just, we left on a bad note. I don’t know… it’s never even occurred to me. Liking women.”

“Oh.” Greg scratched his head, then shrugged. “What’s there to think about? Women are great! And Cosima seems nice.”

“She is.” Delphine smiled immediately.

“What’s there to think about, then?” Greg shrugged, taking comfort in his role as confidante. Delphine caught her bottom lip between her teeth, a nervous habit from when she was a child she had never been able to break.

‘To hell with it.’ Delphine thought and blurted out what had consumed her the past day and some.

“Cosima kissed me.”

Greg held up his hand.

“What?”

“Come on, high-five!” Greg grinned at Delphine. “High-five me!”

“No.” Delphine shook her head, a small smile on her lips.

“Fine,” Greg huffed and then slapped his own hand. “I can do it myself. But seriously, this is a good thing, right? You like her?”

“I really don’t know.”

“Well, do you like spending time with her?”

The answer was immediate because the answer didn’t need much thinking on. “Yes, of course.”

“Does she make you laugh?”

“She’s ridiculously witty.” Delphine caught herself gushing.

“Do you want to be with her all the time?”

“Well, not ALL the time.”

Greg gave her a look. Delphine sighed.

“Okay. Maybe. Most of the time.”

“Do you find her attractive?”

Cosima’s chocolate brown eyes and her fanged grin came to mind. The way she looked everywhere but at Greg gave the man his answer.

“So did you guys talk about it? After the kiss, I mean? Or did you make out for like an hour and plan your wedding?”

“Stop imagining these ridiculous scenarios.” Delphine smacked Greg on the arm, his foolishness making her smile but she didn’t answer him.

Greg raised an eyebrow at Delphine’s silence. “Delphine?”

“I…” Delphine looked down at her cup and grimaced. “I ran away.”

“Oh my god. You ran?” Greg barked out a laugh and held up a hand in apology when Delphine shot him a dirty look. “Don’t worry, we can fix this. You just have to go back and apologize. You don’t even have to do that, you can just kiss her. All is forgiven!”

“I can’t just…” Delphine cast a furtive look around, her face flushing at the thought of Cosima that close to her again. “I can’t just go and kiss her!”

“Well, have you talked to her at all, since?” Greg queried. Delphine shook her head and Greg groaned.

“Oh my god, now I know how my girl friends felt when I was being ridiculous with my crushes.” Greg smiled, somewhat foolishly at Delphine. “I should’ve listened to them and jumped the gun before you met Cosima.”

“I don’t think the result would be different.” Delphine’s reply tumbled out without much thought and her eyes widened in apology as Greg laughed and held a hand to his chest.

“Ouch! Frenchie, that was harsh.”

“I am sorry.” Delphine’s contrite expression launched Greg into laughter again.

“It’s alright. But hey, at least you have your answer. Go tell her what you feel.”

Delphine nodded, realizing after her short time with Greg, that she finally knew what she should be doing and Greg had helped her along the way.

“Thank you,” Delphine offered in heartfelt gratitude.

“Please don’t mention it.” Greg laughed at himself self-deprecatingly. “Please. Really. Forget the first part and just remember the part where I told you to go get the girl.”

            He gave her a wave and Delphine was out the door. But instead of going straight to Cosima’s place, she went home to change first, then wandered around campus, trying to find her nerve. The nerve to talk to Cosima, to confront her about whatever this was, whatever they had. With the skyline quickly darkening because of the winter hours and Delphine definitely feeling the cold, the frenchwoman finally pointed her boots towards Cosima’s apartment.

            She stood outside of Cosima’s door for quite a while, listening to the woman shuffling around inside before finally knocking on the door. When Cosima opened the door, after being out in the relatively darker corridor, it felt like Cosima was blinding her with the brightness of her smile, no matter how dorky that sounded.

            The small scientist’s awkward apology and her blundering through an explanation of why she kissed Delphine and quick acceptance of Delphine’s heterosexuality had the blonde agreeing quickly to whatever Cosima was saying, hurrying with her to patch up whatever they might have broken and welcoming each other oddly back into their comfort zone. Delphine had easily accepted Cosima’s explanation for the both of them, but standing next to Cosima, so close to Cosima, made her think too much on that sudden kiss. Gathering all the courage she had, she blurted out to Cosima exactly what she was thinking and felt her heart stutter at the intense look the other scientist gave her.

            Heart still in her throat, Delphine felt like Cosima was giving off electricity as the smaller woman stood stockstill, letting Delphine touch her reverently. Let her trail a thumb across her lips and felt Cosima’s breath hitch as Delphine’s thumb caught on Cosima’s bottom lip.

            It was too much to resist and Delphine cupped the back of Cosima’s neck, bringing her towards herself, feeling very much like the cliched thirsty man in a desert, drinking from the spring of a sweet oasis. Delphine delighted in the feel of skin as Cosima shed her sweater and Delphine’s fingers dug into Cosima’s flesh. The softness of it, the realness of that heat shot straight to Delphine’s core and she could feel the heat and, embarrassingly so, the wetness of her arousal slicking through her.

            “Delphine…” Her name, groaned on Cosima’s lips made Delphine press into Cosima, her actions suddenly frantic and desperate. Pushing her backwards until Cosima collapsed on to the bed, Delphine was grinding down onto the smaller woman, shuddering and crying out in surprise as a shot of pleasure pierced her through. She looked down at Cosima’s grinning face as the other woman trailed her hands upwards, hiking up Delphine’s short skirt and held tight on the blonde’s hips and pressed her down while grinding up in such a way that made Delphine see stars, throwing her head back and scrabbling for purchase, finally gripping on to the bedsheets. She only had a scant second or so respite as Cosima pressed her down again, mercilessly coaxing Delphine into a steady rhythm.

            Delphine felt like something was just gathering behind her eyes, a heady, hot rush as she cried out in pleasure, feeling strangely like she was having a religious experience, the ecstasy bordering on levels she hadn’t thought was possible. She’d had pleasurable before, but Cosima was… she was everywhere. Beneath her skin, sinking in, soaking Delphine in everything Cosima.

            ‘She hasn’t even… touched me directly yet…’ Delphine thought of those slim, small hands and that was her undoing as she cried out again, keening and collapsing forward, drenched through her underwear and Cosima’s lap, her mind blank and awash in a pleasant glow.

            “We’re not done yet…” Cosima’s voice murmured in her ear, her lips trailing kisses from her earlobe to the spot under her jaw that made her shiver again and clench in wanton need.

            “Cosima…”

            “Confession,” Cosima’s hands caught on the hem of Delphine’s shirt and in between kisses, divested the blonde of that piece of clothing. “I love it when you say my name like that.”

            Delphine’s smile was both invitational and challenging at once, and she could see Cosima’s eyes widen at whatever she saw on Delphine’s face. Without further preamble, Cosima had flipped Delphine onto her back, lips sucking at that spot under her jaw again, making Delphine’s mouth open in a silent ‘O’. Cosima’s hands, which the blonde had just seconds ago fantasized about, took centre stage in her mind as she felt the brunette cup and press into her wetness that kept pooling out. Her body was mortifyingly ready for Cosima and was eager to accept her.

            There was no preamble as Cosima kissed her, so gently it made her heart hurt, as she entered her just as gently. The fullness of Cosima’s fingers made Delphine suddenly forget to breath. It felt like the other woman was reaching in and touching her everywhere. Instinctively, Delphine wrapped her legs around Cosima, bringing her closer and unintentionally pressing Cosima in further.

            “F---” Dephine couldn’t even get the word out, her mind blanking again, Cosima’s tongue stealing the words from her mouth, a perfect complement to how the scientist was slowly fucking her in all the right ways below. Cosima was making her toes curl and drawing out delicious feelings that coursed up and down her spine and those feelings could only escape through her mouth in soundless gasps in between Cosima’s mouth when they had to part for air.

            The feelings were almost unbearable in the best sense of unbearable but Delphine bore down, seeking Cosima’s heat, letting Cosima lead her, eagerly letting Cosima fuck her until all she could do was let out hoarse, erratic cries at every little pleasure Cosima managed to set off inside of her.

            “Let me, let me…” Delphine had tried weakly to attempt to return the favour, but Cosima had shaken her head--when did she lose the glasses?--and had lovingly kissed her way down to suck on Delphine’s drenched centre. Delphine recognized the pleasure Cosima took in the act of pleasing her, of gathering Delphine’s hips and dragging her closer as her tongue laved through her flesh. At the first touch, it was such a different sensation that it made Delphine squeak in surprised rapture and she had to clap a hand over her mouth as the most obscene noises tried to escape from Delphine’s throat.

“Holy shit,” Cosima had heard the sounds and looked up at Delphine, almost wonderingly then bared her teeth in a savage grin before diving back down to work. Her discovery of Delphine’s sensitivity was something that delighted her and she carefully investigated each section of her Delphine’s heated flesh until Delphine was a quivering mess and wasn’t--couldn’t keep the loud moans from escaping her. She didn’t understand. She was completely too worked up, completely too wound up by Cosima.

It went this way until Delphine finally slipped off the bed and onto her knees, her face quickly burrowing under Cosima’s long skirt, the heat underneath and the maddening scent of Cosima was suffocating in all in the best ways possible.

            Delphine was new at this but she grinned to herself as she applied herself quite rigorously, feeling Cosima quiver underneath her. What she lacked in experience, she made for in enthusiasm. Delphine could feel Cosima’s fingers through the fabric of the other woman’s long skirt, gripping at her hair, keeping her in place and the steady mantra of “shit shit shit don’t stop don’t stop” made sure Delphine knew she was on the right track as did the sudden gush of moisture that caught her by surprise and made her squeak again.

            “Holy fuck…” Cosima finally undid the ties to her skirt and Delphine looked up at Cosima, a deer in headlights look, feeling like the air was much cooler without the comforting constriction of Cosima’s skirt.

            “What the hell.” Cosima continued her stream of soft expletives between her panting, motioning for Delphine to move up so she could hold her. “Wow… I mean. What… we’re not even fully undressed!”

            They belatedly undressed until they were completely naked and pressed up against each other, sweaty and wet.

            “Mon dieu…” Delphine was still trying to catch her breath.

            “That was so fucking awesome.” Cosima raised an eyebrow at Delphine. “Have you done this before?”

            “Non.” Delphine realized that she was a having a little bit of a brain hiccup and was unable to process any of her thoughts into English at the moment. “Merde.”

            They just lay there in each other’s arms, resting, with Cosima occasionally offering up congratulations on Delphine’s amazing sensitivity, which Delphine gently smacked the cheeky American for.

            “I don’t know, Delphine.” Cosima brushed her lips against Delphine’s forehead. “I know this is private and all, but I think we should definitely report this to some news blog about how you’re such a quick learner. Wow. Holy shit, when you were down there…”

            Delphine blushed, hiding her face against Cosima’s neck. She usually wasn’t this… coquettish but sex with someone she cared about always made her feel… vulnerable and soft.

            “If we tell these news blogs about my quick learning, we need to tell them about how you… how do you Americans say it? ‘Rocked my world’?” Delphine lay a reverent kiss on Cosima’s collarbone.

            “It should be carved into my tombstone.” Cosima boasted and held one hand up in the air, gesturing as if there was some kind of display in front of her. “Cosima Niehaus. Rocked Delphine Beraud’s world. At least three times.”

            Cosima beamed down at Delphine. “At the VERY least, three times--oh my god are you crying?”

Delphine swiped at her cheeks, trying not to full out cry as tears tracked down her cheeks. The talk of tombstones and the reminder of death, suddenly made her very concerned for Cosima. Aldous had said whatever was happening, it was a direct threat.

“Are you okay?” Cosima cupped her cheek, worry on her face.

“I cry after sex with boys, too.” Delphine lied, snuggling closer to Cosima. It was completely irrational, to be this afraid for Cosima. To lose her, to lose that face smiling down at her right now was unimaginable.

Cosima, ever sweet Cosima, offered to go get her some frozen treat. When Delphine was certain that Cosima was out the door and wouldn’t be coming back soon, she jumped out of bed, padding around naked and searching through Cosima’s things carefully. If spying on Cosima would keep her alive, she would do so. She would do anything for Cosima.


End file.
